Continuing snippets from my fantasy novel 'The Matchmaker's Mare. This story is told from three p.o.vs. and two time-lines. Today's excerpt is again from Rhiannon's p.o.v. and takes place in the distant past, a few paragraphs along from the last one. I forgot to say last week that it takes place in rural West Wales (where I grew up) so some of the names may be very unfamiliar.(As usual, creative punctuation to comply with the 8 sentence rule.)
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Her father’s voice rang in her ears.
“It is all arranged. You will marry Gwynfor Pryce, we have already agreed
on the marriage settlement and the wedding is arranged for a week today - there
will be no more argument.”
Rhiannon knew then she must leave the little cottage where she had lived
with her father since her mother died seven years before. It pained her to
leave the dwelling where she’d lived her whole life, the only home she’d known.
However, she would not marry a man she hated, a man who she knew to be cruel to
his servants and animals. A man she suspected might be a master of the dark
arts.
Along the edge of the forest and past the foot of craggy Bryn Glas,
Rhiannon then turned southeast to follow the drover route she knew Sion would
be taking on his return journey. “Faster, Seren, faster,” she whispered again,
and the tiny bells she wore around her belt jingled as she urged the pony on.
She clutched her hand to her breast to feel the reassuring bulk of the
kerchief, holding the only wealth she possessed, and a fragrant sprig of
lavender Sion had given her before he left…
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This passage has a rather mythic or fairy tale feel to it. I enjoyed it because of how it promises great things are about to happen.
ReplyDeleteAw, thanks Ed, glad you enjoyed it. I'm trying to weave the mythical parts of the story with the modern contemporary thread.
ReplyDeleteHi Hywela, you have written an exciting snippet. I can hardly wait to learn what happens next.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Charmaine x
DeleteA complex story. She seems calm and yet resolved to escape.
ReplyDelete(I'm also writing a story set where I grew up, and my heroine will face a similar obstacle.)
Yes, she's very sensible and down to earth,not easily panicked, but very determined not to do something against her will, too.
DeleteYour story sounds intriguing - it's good to get back to ones roots so to speak, sometimes, isn't it!
I can certainly understand her reasons! She seems very brave. I might have dispensed with the bells, if I was her and I was trying to escape...the scene really put me on edge for her. Terrific snippet!
ReplyDeleteHi Veronica - that's an interesting point, thanks, I hadn't thought about the bells giving her away, I may have to re-think that bit, although I'd like to keep them as they have a significance for another character in the future. They're only small and I think perhaps if one were close enough to hear them on a horse, you'd see the rider in the distance anyway, but it's certainly something to think about!
DeleteNicely motivated. Adds to the urgency and our investment in the character.
ReplyDeleteThanks Nancy!
DeleteI could feel her need to be away as quickly as possible. Enjoyed the snippet and look forward to more.
ReplyDeleteThanks Karen,glad you like the snippet!
ReplyDeleteHer father doesn't sound much better than the man he's planning to marry her off to.
ReplyDeleteI thought about the bells, too, but then thought about the fact that they have a variety of magical uses. (And would be hard to hear over hoof beats anyhow.)
Sadly, in those days, fathers often 'arranged' marriages for their daughters, which were beneficial to everyone except the poor girl concerned,. He is pretty callous though. Thanks about the comments re: the bells, I think I'll keep them but make it more obvious they're only tiny and not very loud :)
DeleteShe's in a tough situation. I don't blame her for not wanting to marry a guy like that.
ReplyDeleteHi Kate, thanks so much for stopping by - you're right, he's a nasty piece of work!
ReplyDeleteI like the urgency of this scene. It would all be so simple if she'd find him along the way and he'd save her from that horrible marriage, but... ~sigh~ We must torture her first for the sake of a good story. :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks Teresa, and even together they won't be completely safe.
ReplyDelete